A compendium of bullshit dredged from the dark depths of the internet, and compiled in the darker, deeper depths of my disturbed mind. Take everything I say with a grain of salt. And a slice of lime. And a shot of tequila. And do so off of a body. And take pictures. And send them to me. And you are not supposed to start a sentence with "and."
Caution, the footage may be extremely unsettling to some viewers.
oh my god WHY DO PEOPLE DO THINGS LIKE THAT THIS IS A SICK SICK WORLD
(Source: thelolgifs, via godsgifttooxygen)
Everyone probably knew this was coming.
#i legit CRY at this commercial #it actually makes me CRY #boom-dee-ada-boom-dee-ada #i just love the fucking world okay? #sobbing now
I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS COMMERCIAL
I was just thinking about these commercials and how I wanted one on my tumblr, and now here it is!
Awkward confession time: whenever I feel like the world is shit and I can’t keep dealing with it, I watch this and/or read about cool science things to remind me that it’s not all bad.
For all of you having bad days
(Source: skythrown, via slendertroll)
There was an abandoned church with a dangerous graveyard. Yes, dangerous. Officially dangerous. The gates were chained up and there was a big sign saying KEEP OUT DANGEROUS STRUCTURE. Well, could you have resisted? I went and peered through the bars. And there, among all the ancient leaning gravestones was the statue of lamenting angel. The way it looked at me, I felt sure this was the dangerous structure in question. A dangerous statue hidden in a graveyard! …
A few Christmases later, long after Blink, we were back at the hotel. My son Joshua and I went for a walk past the church and it all came flooding back.
“Hey,” I said. “Want to see the original Weeping Angel?” I took him to peer through the bars of the damaged graveyard. “Dad…..there’s no angel there.” There wasn’t. There really wasn’t.
We left, fairly quickly.
—Steven Moffat on his inspiration for the Weeping Angels | Doctor Who Magazine February 2013 (via tonightsadangernight)
(via chickidychynna)
A WISE MAN ONCE SAID:
deviantartneironymcrposterjpg:
I have never reblogged something so fast in my LIFE.
(Source: natsa-is-a-free-elf, via destroyerofempires)
consulting-idjits-in-the-tardis:
For those who don’t get the joke, that wizard in the bottom gif is played by Sylvester McCoy aka the Seventh Doctor.
….HAHAHAHA THAT’S FANTASITC
OH MY GOD I FREAKED OUT SO MUCH WHEN I SAW HIS NAME IN THE CREDITS
(Source: thefourteenthdoctor, via whovianringrat)
slang & language
iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:
I find it really funny when people assume English (UK) and English (US) are exactly the same language. “Pull your pants up, I can see your fanny.” Has a very different meaning depending on what side of the globe you’re on.
See also: Bumming a fag
…what the hell does that mean in America?
(via jingle-mae)
I like women to be ladies...
I like women to be ladies, and there are certain things ladies don’t do. Ladies don’t dress like two bit whores, ladies dont smoke cigarettes, and ladies don’t drink alcohol and get drunk.
Ladies should be ladies, not sailors.
Hi. I’m Aisha.
I’m a fucking Sailor and a fucking lady.
As a United States Sailor one of my jobs is to protect the rights of fuckwit American civilians like yourself, by killing terrorists and other people America considers a threat to their power.
I smoke. I drink. Sometimes I get a little tipsy. Luckily, there’s always a few Marines to walk me back to my barracks to ensure I don’t hurt myself…since I’m always sporting heels in my civilian clothes.
Sometimes, when I want to engage in the twenty-first century practice of being a free woman who is free to be as sexually active or inactive as she damn well pleases without the care of judgement of people who are NOT cutting her check, paying her bills, or otherwise contributing positivity to her life in any fashion, I dress like an erstwhile “two-bit whore”. Though, I must say, my sexual prowess cannot be bought…and even if it could, I assure you, you could not afford it.
So, OP, I hope you feel as dumb as your post sounds when I tell you it is possible to be a lady AND a Sailor and still be as flawless an individual.
(via jingle-mae)
Just look at this woman. She is almost 50 years old. She is AS OLD AS THE SERIES, and she doesn’t look a day over 30. I want to look as good as her when I’m 50. FLAWLESS.
she doesn’t look a day over sexy
Just remember: she’s a timelady.
NO LEGIT I SAW HER IN AND AIRPORT AND WAS LIKE ‘omg that woman looks like alex kingston but no alex kingston is like 50 that woman looks like 25 but wow she looks a lot like her’ AND THEN THAT WAS HER DAUGHTER STANDING WITH HER AS THEY CROSSED THE STREET AND I WAS LIKE OMG FUCK ITS NOT MOVIE MAGIC SHE’S REALLY FLAWLESS
how
(Source: bowtieinthesky, via johnlock-roll-a-d20)
thetimetravelersguidetothegalaxy:
Writing is weird.
One minute you are telling a story.
The next minute you are researching the average amount of snowfall Edinburgh gets.
or how to kill someone with a piece of barbed wire and a tomato
Or how much force it takes to dent a human skull with a can of Pepsi.
what the hell are you guys writing?
Smut
Omg
(via whovianringrat)
honestly the most beautiful thing i’ve ever read
….whut.
Well, shit.
(Source: idancee, via whovianringrat)
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
